I've taught and practiced some version of Felt Connection since 2008. Over the years I've gotten a feel for people who do well with our particular method for supporting personal growth. Though there are no hard and fast guidelines, here are some things to consider when deciding whether or not to learn the skills we teach:
Felt Connection might not be right for you if:
Your outer life is unstable or lacks support. The psychologist Carl Gustav Jung said that one reason he was able to explore so deeply inside of himself is because he had a stable job, supportive social connections, and a routine that grounded him in the outer world. He recommended avoiding deep inner work until your outer life is stable. While there's no one "rule" that fits everyone, we see Jung's counsel as wise and worth considering (For more on Jung's views about this, see the book Active Imagination by Jung's colleague Barbara Hannah, pp. 5-6.)
You're committed to a teaching that sees some parts of the psyche as wrong, bad or unspiritual. Felt Connection sees every part of our inner self as having an important function within the whole of our consciousness--even so called "negative" emotions or the "ego". People who are deeply and involved in methods that advise rising above bad or illusory parts of the self in an ongoing way often feel torn between two paradigms when studying our work. While a few brave souls have been able to fluidly navigate between differing belief systems, it takes an exceptionally open-minded and flexible person to pull that off.
You're looking for a quick fix. Our work supports individuation, a life-long journey that requires us to live more true to ourselves and our values, break free of harmful mass beliefs and norms, and become more whole by integrating shadow parts of ourselves. Individuation is an ongoing, life-long path that takes persistence, courage and ongoing inner work and struggle. Not everyone feels called to consciously navigating such a journey, and there is nothing wrong with wanting something quick and easy to alleviate your suffering. However, Felt Connection is not designed as a "quick fix", through some people have reported that simply learning our affirming framework for seeing the self brought them relief and a deeper sense of wholeness.
Felt Connection might be right for you if:
You enjoy continual learning, transformation and experimentation. A lot of the people who do best with our work naturally love inner exploration; they can't NOT do it. They're constantly learning new things to help them go deeper into themselves and enjoy our work because we're constantly experimenting and evolving it together.
You're willing to directly experience and interact with different parts of your inner self. We've had a few past community members who didn't want to actually experience our work, and preferred to watch or observe it. While watching our work can be fascinating, inspiring, and enlivening, it's only through direct experience and interaction with your inner self and through using our practices in your outer relationships that Felt Connection becomes truly life-changing.
You're willing to practice the skills we teach in at least one relationship. It's ideal to learn our work with a friend, since many of the skills we teach are interpersonal practices. Some friends have met weekly for years to practice the skills we teach, and from there, they've found the inspiration to practice Felt Connection in more challenging relationships.
You're interested in embodied spirituality. One of Gandhi's most famous sayings encourages us to be the change we want to see in the world. Whether you're an atheist or a devout God lover, living true to your values in daily life (and owning and making amends for your unconscious actions when you don't) is a key to transforming yourself and the world at large. Because our work combines spiritual, psychological and interpersonal skills, it's an ideal support for anyone longing to more fully embody their values in daily life.
I hope this guide is helpful as you consider whether or not to study Felt Connection. I'm happy to arrange a 30 minute complementary phone or Zoom consult with you if you have further questions about whether or not the principles and practices we offer would be a good fit for you.
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